Mediation in family law
You and your partner have decided to split up. That may take place in good consultation, but nevertheless, divorce is painful. The period in which a decision is taken to divorce is often very chaotic and emotional. Grief, anger and disappointment all play a part. This often makes it difficult to avoid (even more) arguments and maintain communication, even for the sake of the children.
Mediation is a tried and tested method for solving conflicts in relationships. On average, divorce mediation is completed within a number of months, and sometimes even within weeks. The mediation process therefore generally takes far less time that divorce proceedings, in which both partners have their own lawyer. Guidance is also offered for improving communication (and for maintaining the improvement). The essence of mediation is that you reach agreements together, without the intervention of a court that decides how a conflict will be resolved, so that a tailor-made service is provided.
The mediator supervises the (negotiation) process in a confidential setting and provides the parties with the necessary legal information and guidance. However, it is the parties themselves who make agreements on the settlement of their marriage or another dispute.
How mediation works
The lawyer/divorce mediator does not act as a lawyer for one of the parties. The mediator does not take sides, but acts as an independent third party who helps to find a solution based on both your interests. Divorce mediation is based on principles such as confidentiality, openness and treating each other with respect. Divorce mediation usually involves four to five meetings, each lasting about two hours. Both partners are always in attendance at the meetings.
At the first meeting, the mediator explains the rules of play for the mediation. The matters raised include the fact that agreements are not binding until a final agreement (a divorce covenant) has been signed. In order to record this, the mediator and the parties conclude a mediation agreement. Under the leadership of the mediator, the different topics (and legal possibilities) on which agreement must be reached in relation to the divorce are then discussed. Together, you choose the solution that best suits both your interests and that can also be implemented in practice. As soon as agreement has been reached, the mediator records the agreements in a divorce covenant. The mediator then arranges the legal settlement of the marriage. Because the mediator is also a lawyer, it is not necessary to engage a third party for this.
mr. L.E. Leunissen, mr. P.C. Burger and mr. M.L. Wierstra are mediators affiliated to the Association of Family Law Lawyers and Divorce Mediators ('Vereniging van Familierechtadvocaten en Scheidingsmediators (vFAS)'). They first offer a free introductory meeting of 30 minutes, so that you can meet them and they can inform you about the course of the mediation process.
